Stress Management
Updated: Oct 8
Oliver Seligman discusses various methods for managing stress levels, including mindfulness techniques.
September Meeting: Stress Management
At our last all-ages group meeting we were joined by Oliver Seligman, author of Befriending Bipolar and host of the Live Better With Bipolar YouTube channel. Drawing from his experience, Oliver spoke with us about his tips and strategies for managing stress. Find what he shared below!
I believe that stress can be categorised into two groups, internal and external stress.
External stress: Stress that comes at us from the world around us (e.g. noisy neighbours or busy crowds). Sometimes we can reduce these stressors by politely asking the neighbours to keep it down, going somewhere more peaceful, or using headphones to listen to something more pleasant. However, when we can't reduce them the best thing to do is choose to accept the situation as best we can. This can reduce its effect on our us.
Internal stress: Stress that comes from inside us (e.g. struggling to change a situation that can't be changed). It is about our attitude towards external stressors. Do we internally resist the noise or the crowds? Or do we take a breath or two, realise that there is nothing we can do about it and try to accept it? Different people can experience the same external stressor, and one finds it stimulating, whilst the other gets stressed by it. For example, watching sport, can feel positive or negative depending on the person watching it. Some people love the stress of a close football match whilst others chew their fingernails and hate every moment of it. 'One man's meat is another man's poison.' We have more control over our reaction to stressors than we might think.
How we react to stress and how we handle it is individual. We are all different and have to find what works for us.
So, what are my favourite ways to reduce stress and live a better life with bipolar?
1. Spending time in nature: Some people love intense exercise in nature. Skiing or sprinting through the woods with a heavy pack on their back. I prefer to walk mindfully, taking time to look at the trees, listening to the sounds and smelling the woodland smells.
2. Avoiding too much screen time: This disrupts my sleep and puts me on edge. It is the blue light spectrum that is not good for me. If find reducing the amount of blue light coming to me is helpful. I use a free programme called www.eye-saver.net to adjust the light settings on my computer to cut out blue light. It is also possible to change the settings on my PC to cut out blue light. I often wear blue light-blocking glasses (that are orange) in the evenings and find it easier to fall asleep. I even wear them in the daytime if I am on my computer a lot.
3. Avoiding negativity: Watching too much of the news affects my mood, especially when it's bad. Some people feel they need to be informed of what is going on in the world. Yet news outlets often exaggerate bad news to sell more papers and get more clicks. Do we need to know about all the bad things that are happening in the world every day? I prefer to focus on the good things that are happening in the world and follow this channel: www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3fDBbztvas
4. Meditating: I have been meditating for 24 years (I practice the Ishayas' Ascension as taught by The Bright Path). It has transformed my life and my relationship with bipolar. There are many different types of meditation. Some are helpful, some are not so helpful.
5. Diet and Mood: What I eat has a significant effect on mood and overall well-being. A keto diet has been reported to help some people with depression. Highly processed foods often contain artificial additives and preservatives. I do my best to reducing or cut out processed foods which supports my physical and mental health.
6. Purpose & Meaning: Finding ways to contribute, build something and help others gives me a reason to get up in the morning and lifts my mood.
7. Obligations: I used to ignore my own needs and overcommit because I was not good at saying, "no". This made me exhausted and cancelling appointments made me unpopular. Warning people beforehand that I may not be able to make an appointment, or agreeing to text them in the morning to confirm a meeting works well. Other people appreciate my honesty and feel respected, and I don't feel bad when I cancel an appointment.
8. Exercise: A helpful way to de-stress and ensure you make time for self-care. Be mindful of your limits.
9. Writing a crisis plan: When we are well it can be helpful to write a plan that can be handed to a doctor or nurse if we have an episode. This can have a list of our medication, doses, food allergies, what we like to do if depressed or manic. It is basically a list of everything that might be useful to help us recover when we are too ill to express ourselves.
10. Breathing exercises: Deep breathing exercises calm my nervous system and reduce stress. There are lots of guided exercises on apps like Headspace and Calm, or on YouTube.
There are some stressors in life we can change, and some we can't. It really helps to know the difference, because fighting against something that can't be changed is a waste of time and energy that could be spent having a good time.
We would like to thank Oliver again for joining us and sharing his insight on how to manage the daily stress in our lives. We highly recommend checking out his work to learn more about his personal experiences and how he navigates life with bipolar disorder:
Book: Befriending Bipolar
YouTube Channel: Live Better With Bipolar
